Irony! Ask And You Shall Receive!

This is one of those odd posts. You know, the ones where you have something to say, but it's a really odd subject. First, the important thing to know is that I conceived Connor on June 16th. A few days later, me and Chris got into a huge tiff and it pretty much got to the point that we wouldn't even speak to each other. Well, on the 23rd, he sent me and email apologizing for all he had ever done and promising me that things would change between us. But, one part that stands out is, "I would love to try and have a boy with you one day!!!! Even though I have said no more my heart wants a boy if you know what i mean."

After we had Crystina, we said "That's it. She's gonna be an only child - no more." Then 4 years later, we had Carolyn. And once again, said she was the last. Three years later, Twins Part 1 were going to be the last. And again 2 years later after Twins Part 2 we said we were done. We decided 6 was enough and that we would remain content with our 6 girls and live our life. However, I have always had the nagging feeling that I wouldn't be complete without a son. A few times I had voiced my opinion to Chris but he remained firm - no more kids. So, I was absolutely floored when I read this email. I had just voiced my opinion a couple months prior. If we only knew -- that boy was already baking and neither of us knew.

That early, there was no way to know. But, looking back now, the signs were all there. We just didn't see them. Two days after I conceived, no lie!, I turned down shrimp! Now, anyone who knows me knows that I can pack away 5 lbs of these crustaceans alone. Chris bought a cooler full of shrimp, brought them home, cleaned and shelled them and then grilled them for me. I immediately turned them down; they absolutely repulsed me. I instead wanted an Italian BMT sub with extra meat and cheese and jalapeno peppers. Odd for me. Beginning 4 days after "conception", I immediately began wanting Raising Cane's food every day. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. Admittedly, it is awesome food, but isn't that an overkill? Ummmm...... A week or so later, I tried to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and got sick to my stomach. I was always moody and emotional. I didn't understand it. I just thought I was getting ready to go through a bout of depression. I finally put 2 and 2 together 10 days after my missed period. I think at that point I really didn't want to believe it. It was in all honesty the worst possible time for a pregnancy. Chris and I were working through our marital problems, he had just been laid off, we were in an area where our family and friends were 1000 miles away. Luckily, our marital and financial situations are just fine now.

I still pick on him about it. I just think it's so ironic that he sends me an email talking about having a boy, and at that time I was already pregnant with our son -- we just didn't realize it!

Surprise!

I think I mentioned before that Chris is out of town for work for about, well, another month now. I miss him more than anyone could possibly realize. So, this afternoon, Chris called me up and said "Guess what?" Now, at this point, he was in South Carolina waiting to see where his next job was (either North Carolina or Washington DC). I said "What?" (Assuming the worst - Washington DC). He said "See you in 14 hours!" I couldn't believe it! The explanation was that the bridge crew rented a piece of equipment from Chris' company so he got to drive it down and spend a couple of days here. YAY!!!!

Chris and Crystal: A Decade of Marriage

Well, today is the day that marks my 10^th wedding anniversary. There were so many people that doubted that we'd even make it to the altar much less this far. I love Chris with all that I have. My life would literally feel empty without him in it. Without him with me right now (work related), my life feels empty. Therefore, I never want to know what it feels like without him in it at all. It's because of him that I believe that true love and soul mates exist because he is my soul mate. We have a decade of marriage under our belt. We've had our share of problems along the way but when all is said and done, we're still together. Always and forever and a day.



Here I am on our wedding day (3/20/99):


Here we are on our wedding day:


And here are we a couple weeks ago:


And the kiss of true love (on the beach no less, what else could be so perfect?):

You Know Its Love

I wrote this poem on March 16^th, 2009. While me and Chris were talking I said "You know its 100% true love when this is how we feel apart." That was the inspiration for this poem.

You Know It’s Love

You know it’s love
When you are all I think about.
You know it’s love
When every thought is of you.
You know it’s love
When you invade my every dream.
You know it’s love
When my only wish is to be next to you.
You know it’s love
When I’d rather die than be apart.
You know it’s love
When not being with you breaks my heart.

© Crystal Darden Swarmer
2009

Saying Goodbye.......

Saying goodbye is never an easy thing to do. I absolutely hate saying goodbye. I always end up crying and crying. And even crying some more.

So, today when I had to walk my husband out to his truck and tell him goodbye, for an undetermined amount of time, I was a complete basket case. I was trying to fight back my tears, but ended up making it all worse on myself. Not many people understand it, but in the 12 years we've lived together, we've spent a little more than 6 months apart total. Being apart is just strange and foreign to me! So, I spent all day crying off and on. Every little thing, memory, trigger just sets me off. From walking to the front door and not seeing his truck, to not finding him outside smoking, to not hearing his co-worker's voices, to being in the room alone were all triggers to me.

Paradise.....

But, I think I found it! LOL I went to Grand Isle, LA today and felt so peaceful.


And was there at sunset:


Me and my love:


It doesn't get any better than this. The kiss of true love on the beach:

Forever and A Day....

Back when Chris and I first started dating we had an expression we always said. Instead of just "I Love You", it was "I Love You Always and Forever and A Day." I had once written a poem called Forever and a Day. However, my kids destroyed all 3 of my notebooks of poetry! So, today I decided to just write another one with the same title.

Forever and A Day
Forever and a day,
is how long I'll stay.
When I say I love you,
Please know its true.
I'll love you till the day we die,
That, is no lie.
I love you with all my heart,
And the two of us will never part.
Forever and a day,
Together is how we'll stay.

© Crystal Darden Swarmer
2009

This was me and Chris when we first started dating in 1996:


And this is the love of my life now:

And I am Continously Spoiled.....

I am kind of doing my posts out of order, but I need to take some pictures of my Mardi Gras goodies before I can do my post on my Mardi Gras experience. So, I will do this post first.

Now, as I said in my previous post, my husband surprised me for Valentine's Day by letting me have a "mini shopping spree", then surprised me with balloons and candy. Well, my spoiling didn't stop there. On Sunday, February 15th, he bought me dinner at Olive Garden. Granted, we ate it in our hotel lobby, it was still sweet. And while this may seem strange, on the 17th he paid for me to have 4 body piercings done (eyebrow, nose, labret, and navel) and on the 19th I got 2 tattoos. After that it was Mardi Gras weekend and then Fat Tuesday so there wasn't much surprising and shopping then.

Now, on February 27th, I get more. It's still a debate on whether it is still Valentine's spoiling or an early Anniversary gift. First, I really hated my cell phone. We got them because they were cheap and affordable at the time. I really missed my QWERTY keyboard for texting (I LOVE to text!), so we went looking. I had found one online for a decent price but honestly it wasn't what I wanted. So, after looking at AT&T, I went to Best Buy and went ahead and paid for the Samsung Pantech Matrix. Love it so far. Then I had to take the 2 pair of wrong sized pants back to the Black and Gold store. Since they were sale items I could only exchange rather than refund. So, I chose a Saints outfit (pants, tank top and jacket). I also REALLY wanted an authentic jersey which normally run $225. Well, they had them on sale so I got that too; Jeremy Shockey #88 of course. The next "gift" is kinda for both, but mainly for me. Soon, Chris has to leave for a couple of months while they wait for the next phase of this project. So, he bought the Tom Tom One XL GPS for me to use while he is gone. I can literally get lost anywhere! That was really all that was bought today.

He also took me by New Orleans Daiquiri Shop and I got me a 32 oz. Mudslide. Gotta love Louisiana and their drive thru Daiquiri shops!

Tomorrow I want to go to Grand Isle to see the Gulf. Doubt it, but I can hope.

Well, here is a picture of "The Swamp". Ok, it's Leeville where hubby is working. LOL

Valentine's Day 2009

First, my thoughts on this "holiday". Ok, so Valentine's Day, in the West, is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionary. Okay, I don't do all that. And besides, why do I need someone to tell me that on this one day, I'm supposed to show love and devotion to my husband. Shouldn't I be doing that all year round? Plus, I HATE the element of surprise. I don't know why, but I hate it. I don't mind having attention showered on me, but I don't want you to surprise me with it. And I dislike real flowers. If you're going to give me something to symbolize your love for me, don't give me something that will die.

Ok, so on February 13th, dh got off work early. He came home and announced that I could go anywhere I wanted to. Well, I wanted to go to the Black and Gold Sports Shop in Metairie, LA to look for my white Jeremy Shockey jersey. Well, needless to say, I walked out of there with a whole lot more. I think it was a PJ set, white jersey, 6 other Saints shirts, a couple pair of PJ shorts, and a pair of Fleur-de-lis earrings. Then I went to Wal-Mart and got some new jeans, a new pair of pjs, and a pair of black pants. In all he spent $500 on me. I need to take a few things back and exchange them. I had grabbed 2 pairs of pants from the Saints store but they were the wrong size. I may exchange them for a pair of Saints crocs and a maybe some Saints scrunchies. LOL Pictures of all this stuff will be coming soon.

On February 14th, Chris surprised me with 3 balloons and candy (hence read the first paragraph). Then I dressed up, kinda, and we did a poker game with his co-worker. I drank a few drinks. Nothing major.

The balloons:


The candy: