Friday, August 15, 2008

The Seasons

Here is another of my sappy love poems.

The Seasons
There was a time
when the wind was blowing
and people were glowing.
The air had a chill,
and love was such a thrill.
There was a time
but fall leaves,
and in love I no longer believe.
Now, there's snow on the ground,
and love is all around.
My heart is so cold,
and I feel so, so old.
The spring comes and the ground unthaws,
yet I'm reminded of all my flaws.
I wish you were gone,
and that my love wasn't used as a pawn.
My heart is as fragile as glass,
I only hope the hurt will soon pass.
Summer soon arrives,
a time in which to feel so alive.
The days so hot,
full of memories of a love I never forgot.
My heart still surrounded by walls,
my heart still determined not to fall.
The seasons come and go,
everyday I just go with the flow.
My love for you will never end.
And to you, all my love I send.
And I can only hope that within the next season,
you and I find a way to each other.
To me there is no reason
why we can't be with one another.
♥ Crystal, the Italian Bella ♥

Friday, August 8, 2008


I have not written a poem in almost 5 years. Then suddenly, probably I swear to you like 10 minutes ago, a poem just flowed into my head. Now mind you, I have never liked my poems, I hate the sound of them and I think they always sound dorky. Anyways......

I love you
with all that I have.
For you, there is
nothing I wouldn't do.
You make me smile,
You make me laugh,
you make me feel happier
than I ever have.
You are my friend,
the one I can turn to.
You are my soul,
the one I always think of.
You are my someone special,
the one I dream of.
You are all I've ever wanted.
Really sappy and dorky, right? Haha... I used to have like 3 notebooks full of poems, but they all got destroyed by one of my holy terrors.
Now, on to my quote of today:
"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean."
There may be another entry tonight. Or there may not be......
♥ Crystal ♥

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Sibling Rivalry??

I've always heard of sibling rivalry. I have always fought with my brother and I always won. But, nothing is like the emotional warfare he likes to throw at me. To tell me that I don't love my daughter and would never get her treatment for her eating disorder is absolutely absurd. Why would I ever let my daughter live like that? Why would I let my daughter make herself throw up and never do anything about it? Who has their kids? Who makes sure their kids have what they need to survive? Why would I spend the money to feed her 3 times a day, just so she could throw it back up? Sometimes, I really hate him. And I mean really HATE him! Sometimes I swear I was adopted cause how else could I ever be related to a cold, heartless son of a bitch like him? I wonder how he is even allowed to roam the earth free with his mentality! I've always heard that siblings fight like cats and dogs, but to hear his words, I would rather him punch me. Might hurt alot less. Anyone who knows me knows that my kids are the most important things to me. Anyone who knows me knows that my kids are the only reason I am still alive today. There have been so many times that I have actually considered ending my life but then I think of my kids and it saves me. What about his sons? I would do anything for those little boys, yet where is he in their life? No where to be seen! I see and do more for his oldest son than he does! And I would for the youngest too if his mama would let me! I should've been an only child. I never want my kids to have sibling rivalry this bad.

And in closing, my quote for the day:
"Sometimes people put up walls not to keep others out.... But see who cares enough to tear them down."


Sunday, August 3, 2008

The Ramblings of a Crazy Witch......

My quote for today:

"A true friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today just the way you are." -- Anonymous

Such a wonderful life we would all have if everyone did that. Too bad most people don't. :o(

Ok, so my life has gotten completely complicated in the last couple of weeks. I have alot going on in my life, my mind, my heart..... It's just so much to sort out. Sometimes I think I'll die with this huge mass, yes I said MASS, laying on my heart and shoulders. It's an awful feeling all the way around.

I found out yesterday that my great-uncle passed away. Of what else? Cancer of course. Seems to be a trend in the men on my dad's side. Thankfully I was born me instead of my brother. He can deal with this awful, and apparently hereditary, line of cancer. I really hate that word. It takes too many great people from life. Why can't it strike the bad ones and take care of corporal punishment for us?

I had a long heart to heart with a good friend of mine. The only friend I made in church that I even speak to anymore (thanks for the talk, Amy!). I realized that somewhere along the way, I walked away from practicing Wicca. Now why on earth would I do that? I love Wicca. I love the peace it gave me. I was so much a happier person then. So that is this week's goal: to get back into practicing my Wicca. Welcome home Luna.........