Sunday, March 8, 2009

In Memory of Ashleigh Rose

It has been 7 years since I lost my baby, Ashleigh Rose. Here is her story:
Ashleigh was the twin sister to my daughter, Carolyn. I didn't learn about Ashleigh until my pregnancy in 2005. I never saw Ashleigh on any ultrasound; she remained hidden for the ultrasound I had or else she had already began "vanishing". When I lost Ashleigh, I was led to believe that the entire episode was just a "threatened miscarriage". I had taken my oldest daughter to the doctor for a sick baby visit when I started bleeding. On my way to my doctor's office, I began gushing blood. They did a quick ultrasound and saw my baby alive and they admitted me for observation. During my hospital stay, I lost amniotic fluid as if my water had broken. it was not a trinkle or a few drops; it was a gush. I was told to prepare myself to lose my baby. When the doctor came in to check me, the ultrasound showed my baby happily playing in its amniotic sac. On ultrasound, the levels were normal. They told me that is was just a "freak" thing and that I should be thinking my lucky stars that they baby was ok. However, I felt that there was more to it than they were telling me. I went on and delivered a baby girl in September 10 days after her due date. However, the incident that happened in March plagued me. I still felt that there was something no one was telling me especially since the OB office assumed I miscarried when I went in for my follow up.
In February 2005, I got pregnant again. In March 2005, it was confirmed as twins. I began researching about pregnancies involving twins and came across a condition called "Vanishing Twin Syndrome". As I began reading about it, everything started clicking in place. A mother may exhibit signs of a miscarriage including bleeding and loss of amniotic fluid, but on ultrasound, the baby is fine. I also read that many health care professionals will not tell the mother that she lost a twin (if she had not already had a confirmed multiple pregnancy), in fear that she would stress over the lost baby or would be too busy mourning the lost twin to bond with the living. I personally find that heartless. Of course, I want to know about a lost baby. I also learned that in many cases of Vanishing Twin Syndrome that rather than the body expelling the lost twin, it simply absorbs it. My OB still will not let me see my file so I have no clue what is in there from 2002.
During my pregnancy in 2007, my new doctor's office read my past file and confirmed what I already knew.

1 comment:

momluvs4kidz2000 said...

Heartbreaking. How is it that so many dr's seem to feel they "Know" what's best for us weaker women. BS!!!!!! I'm glad you were able to find out on your own, then have the new ob confirm it for you; however, I am so sorry you had to deal with it so much later instead of being able to process it at the time.