This is one of those odd posts. You know, the ones where you have something to say, but it's a really odd subject. First, the important thing to know is that I conceived Connor on June 16th. A few days later, me and Chris got into a huge tiff and it pretty much got to the point that we wouldn't even speak to each other. Well, on the 23rd, he sent me and email apologizing for all he had ever done and promising me that things would change between us. But, one part that stands out is, "I would love to try and have a boy with you one day!!!! Even though I have said no more my heart wants a boy if you know what i mean."
After we had Crystina, we said "That's it. She's gonna be an only child - no more." Then 4 years later, we had Carolyn. And once again, said she was the last. Three years later, Twins Part 1 were going to be the last. And again 2 years later after Twins Part 2 we said we were done. We decided 6 was enough and that we would remain content with our 6 girls and live our life. However, I have always had the nagging feeling that I wouldn't be complete without a son. A few times I had voiced my opinion to Chris but he remained firm - no more kids. So, I was absolutely floored when I read this email. I had just voiced my opinion a couple months prior. If we only knew -- that boy was already baking and neither of us knew.
That early, there was no way to know. But, looking back now, the signs were all there. We just didn't see them. Two days after I conceived, no lie!, I turned down shrimp! Now, anyone who knows me knows that I can pack away 5 lbs of these crustaceans alone. Chris bought a cooler full of shrimp, brought them home, cleaned and shelled them and then grilled them for me. I immediately turned them down; they absolutely repulsed me. I instead wanted an Italian BMT sub with extra meat and cheese and jalapeno peppers. Odd for me. Beginning 4 days after "conception", I immediately began wanting Raising Cane's food every day. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. Admittedly, it is awesome food, but isn't that an overkill? Ummmm...... A week or so later, I tried to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and got sick to my stomach. I was always moody and emotional. I didn't understand it. I just thought I was getting ready to go through a bout of depression. I finally put 2 and 2 together 10 days after my missed period. I think at that point I really didn't want to believe it. It was in all honesty the worst possible time for a pregnancy. Chris and I were working through our marital problems, he had just been laid off, we were in an area where our family and friends were 1000 miles away. Luckily, our marital and financial situations are just fine now.
I still pick on him about it. I just think it's so ironic that he sends me an email talking about having a boy, and at that time I was already pregnant with our son -- we just didn't realize it!